Of Horrors and Jealousy
by xglittergigglesx
Summary: In Which Mai and Yasuhara disect horror movies and purposely piss off Naru. 2nd Sequel to Mai and Yasuhara's Random Rabbles.


**_This is the third instalment of Mai And Yasuhara's Random Rabbles._**

**_In which Mai and Yasuhara disect horror movies and purposely piss off Naru._**

"Never happen." Mai pointed out, shaking her head at the TV screen. Her and Yasuhara sat on her sofa at 2 am, a half empty pizza box on the coffee table along with a six pack of beer and a six pack of bacardi breezer - Yasuhara had bet her she couldn't live threw her mandatory thursday horror movie night without a can of beer - both sitting under a blanket.  
"I remember horror movies being so much more fun before we started living them." Yasuhara sighed sadly, taking a gulp of his half finished can.  
"Totally." Mai nodded, sipping her own bottle. "It doesn't help that these are so obviously fake. I mean, come on, some guy haunting your nightmares? Why don't the just kick him in the nads?"  
"Maybe he cut them off to prevent people doing that." Yasuhara offered. "Or maybe they burned off in that fire."  
"See what we have here is the Wisecracker." Mai told him. "He's one of the five stereotypical horror movie killers."  
"Of course!" Yasuhara nodded. "You have the Wisecracker, guys like our good friend Freddy Kruger here."  
"The Half-Retarded Hill Billys, seen in Wrong Turn and The Hills Have Eyes."  
"The Gamer, Jigsaw from the Saw movies."  
"The SST, Strong Silent Type. Micheal Myers in Halloween."  
"And the Mommas Boy." Yasuhara finished.  
"Jason Vanhoors." Mai smiled. "Which do you find scarier, horror movies with human killers or monsters."  
"Are we talking perticular movies and do the graphics and special affects come into it?"  
"No. Just the idea of it."  
"Well monsters can be scarier as you can't count anything out. It could have wings, lazers, claws anything!"  
"But you have to think about it. I'd say humans because, monsters are monsters, they're kinda ment to be evil. But humans...they have a choice about killing."  
"True." Yasuhara nodded. "The one you gotta laugh at though, would be zombies."  
"They're so stupid and slow!" Mai giggled. "They just need to have their heads smashed in and their finished! What's that movie that has them getting piled on bonfires at the end, and hanging upside down from trees?"  
"It's one of those old ones isn't it?" Yasuhara frowned thinking hard. "Land of the Living Dead or Night of the Living Dead, something like that."  
"All I remember is that it's a really bad, bad movie."  
"Very bad." He agreed. "Now Dawn of the Dead does have a certain something that makes you want to watch it. It may be the zombie baby."  
"The zombie baby is pretty good." Mai nodded. "But honestly. How can they set almost the whole movie in a mall? Really. I say the best horror movie has to be I Know What You Did Last Summer. It had a good twist at the end. Plus, come on. Ryan Phillipe."  
"I Know What You Did Last Summer has a quaint quality, that much I can agree with Mai. I think the best has to be Silence of the Lambs."  
"I'd say that's more of a thriller."  
"True. I don't think there's been a single horror movie that's scared me."  
"They all look so fake." Mai sighed. "I mean, look at that death! The blood's spurting out like a fountain and it's strawberry red! And the victim so can't act."  
"I know. Look at their hair styles as well."  
"Oh come on!" Mai yelled at the screen in agitation. "When you get your throat get slit, the blood doesn't come out like that!" She rubbed her throat subconsiously. "I know."  
Yasuhara smiled weakly, putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. "Cheer up! Another cheesy, over-the-top, death is coming up! It's your favourite one!"  
Mai giggled as she watched the movie. "That is a pretty funny death."  
"You want a beer?"  
"No. I'm not loosing this bet!" She picked up another bottle of Bacardi Breezer and opened it with Yasuhara's bottle open/keyring before taking a gulp. "Yum. Watermellon!"  
After another 30 minutes the movie had finished but the pair still sat up talking.  
"I think people in horror movies are so stupid! They go into the dark room with the door that always jams."  
"The way the helpless girl will always walking up the stairs saying something stupid like; 'Is that you Patches?'" Yasuhara added.  
"Yeh. I just feel like saying to them; 'If Patches is the name for that naked man with knifes on his fingers hiding in your closet, then yes, yes it is!'"  
Yasuhara chuckled, tightening the arm around her shoulder, giving her a one armed hug.  
Mai moaned as her cell phone rang. She looked at the caller ID with a raised eyebrow.  
"Naru?"  
"Mai. You need to come to the office now. We have a case."  
"At this time? It's..." She checked the clock. "Almost 3 am!"  
"It's urgent."  
"Fine. Me and Yasuhara will be there in 30 minutes."  
"I can't drive Mai. I've had 4 beers." Yasuhara whispered loudly.  
"Naru, you'll have to collect us. Yasuhara's drank 4 beers and I don't have my licence. Plus I've been drinking too."  
"Mai! You're only just 16 and you're drinking? And why are you with Yasuhara at this time of night? Why is he at your house?"  
"Thursday night. Horror movie marathon." She shrugged.  
"I'll be there in 15 minutes. Be ready."  
Mai rolled her eyes and hung up. "We have a case. We got 15 minutes to get ready so forgodsake, put your pants on."  
"Fine." He sighed standing up and pulling his jeans up.  
"When I say make yourself at home, I don't mean that much." She rolled her eyes and folded the blanket up. "We'll have to watch the rest of the Nightmare on Elm Streets next week."  
"Oh joy. More meaningless and crappy killing."  
"Well, with our job, it's nice to see all the fake stuff."  
"True."  
Fifteen minutes later when they climbed in the SPR van, Naru glared at Yasuhara with jelousy whilst Mai giggled.  
"How about instead of Elm Street next week we watch a Zombie movie." Yasuhara said, over Naru who had purposely sat inbetween them.  
"Sure!" She grinned. "You bring the beer, I'll get the movie."

**_Review please!!_**


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